A producing colleague of mine stopped by for a visit this week. I haven't seen her in years. Yet she remembered that I did this "coaching thing" and wanted to connect with me. It always makes me happy when people reach out like that.
Our casual conversation quickly revealed that she did not have any clarity on what she wanted, however, she did know the essence of what she wanted, even if she didn't know she knew. It's a curious phenomena. People will spend an entire afternoon talking about their latest project, enthusiastically describing what they are doing, how it works, who is involved, etc. Yet, when you ask them what they want, they have absolutely no idea. Essence is a good place to start. We can describe it. We feel the essence of what we want. Later, we can work out the details.
My friend is no different. She chattered on about the projects she does. She pulled out a resume and its focus was immediately evident. She described what she loved best in the work she did and what disappointed her. She even mentioned her personal goals, yet it hadn't registered as a purpose or mission in her life.
I suggested that she (1) ask for clarity on what she wanted and (2) pay attention to what she was telling other people, notice what she was watching, how she was spending her money, the classes she was taking, the people she liked around her and situations that started showing up around her. These are all clues. By asking, she would activate her reticular activation system.
The R.A.S. system responds to questions by watching for indications of what we want and, amazingly, they begin to appear around us. Often, they have been around us all along. We just haven't noticed.
It's also helpful to join a group or work with a mentor. It's helpful to have a support system. They become loving mirrors, reflecting our enthusiasm back to us, or believing in us when we are not yet ready to believe in ourselves. They ask questions that help us gain clarity on our dreams and help with our goals.
I've had several mentors over the past decade. They provide a core curriculum of study, a specific technique or tools to help me move forward, and support. Some have taught me about finance and business skills.
If you are having difficulties getting started, these are a couple effective ways that may help.
If you'd like to explore this in more depth, Build A Dream Academy is here to provide you with support in all your endeavors.
Check it out and let's Build Your Dream.
I believe in you,